Hey everyone! I know I missed out last week - I was kinda packed dealing with other things to the point that I missed my own deadline. 🤣Anyway, I hope this note will be useful for you. 💓
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Let me ask you something: What is the first thing you would do whenever you have something heavy in your heart? (No matter the issue)
Immediately tell your best friend / family / S.O about it
Cry it out until you’re better without having to explain what it was that bothered you
Nothing. Keep it to myself and ignore it
For me, I would immediately open up only to my trusted friends, family and Bear. It’s waaay better than when I was in high school. I used to cry it out until I’m better without explaining what it was that bothered me. I just kept piling up my feelings; bottling them up until I can’t handle it anymore and just burst. (Yes, the bottle may be empty, but it doesn’t mean I was satisfied.)
In all honesty, I have trouble expressing my negative emotions and the cycle just repeats. It is just horrible to be trapped alone with your thoughts. Even till now, I still find difficulty in expressing them, but this time, I am exerting effort into speaking my mind and I tell you, the more you try, the better you are at doing so.
Now, I know what you’re thinking:
“It’s not easy.” “I’m not confident enough.” “What’s the point?” “Others have it worse than me.” “They won’t understand me.” “Who cares in the end?” “My problems are too petty.” and many more.
Well, you are right about it not being easy. It never was. But it doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to overcome this fear. I am sure you could do it, no matter who you are. ☺️ If you feel like you are alone in this, you aren't.
Do not let your fears control your thoughts, rather, let your thoughts control your fears. - yours truly.
Your thoughts are your worst enemy when not controlled, especially when you are alone with them. Also, just because others resent how you feel or think of it as “petty” does not make you worthless nor your problem being unimportant. Honestly, if it hurts you; bothers you, it’s already something not to be taken lightly of. You know what they say, “every little thing counts” - and it’s true. It may be a “small” problem now, but the longer you keep it, it’ll be a bigger one to the point that it’s too late.
So take a chance. Take baby steps by finding someone to talk to about how you feel, whatever it is that bothers you.
Remember: Open up. It's okay not to be okay.